Being or Doing

Are you a human being or a human doing?

I have a to-do list that would drive anyone nuts. When someone asks me how I am, I tell them all the things I’m doing. I check off tasks on my list and more tasks show up. I have a large whiteboard where I’m trying to keep track of each business and personal task. Not to scare you, but this picture on the right is only one part of my whiteboard and what is due in two days.  I also have post-it notes all over, an online calendar with tasks, and note-taking tools.

I think I’m organized but several re-occurring tasks are to file, organize my office, and clean up files on my computer.

Do I do it?

I start. Then I look at all of my other tasks on my whiteboard and go back to another task that I feel is more important and urgent. You know what I mean. I try organizing everything by putting each task in the following categories:

1. Important and Urgent
2. Important Not Urgent
3. Urgent Not Important
4. Not Urgent and Not Important

Why do I feel everything is important and urgent? Prioritize — Prioritize — Prioritize

UGH! Maybe I need to put different things on my list. Even my personal tasks focus on doing and working. I have on my board to clean the oven (check that one off because I did that because it’s a self-cleaning oven — Yeah!), vacuum (which I actually like doing since I can see results right away), or wash the bed (okay did that too). I know I sound like a cleaning freak, but it’s on my list.

So how do I put “fun” things on my to-do list? I need to redefine who I am. How did I become this human “doing” things instead of just living and enjoying each moment? Maybe I enjoy this. Mmmmm….. or do I?

I do it to myself. It’s all about choices. Do I need to add more to my list? Not really. It’s something about my worth. The more I do I feel I am accomplished. Tired, but accomplished. I do have to do these things or come up with another way to either get these things done or change due dates.

What I’m worth is really not about all I do. It should be about who I am not what I do. I’m not ready to give up my whiteboard and lists, but I’m putting ME on the top of the list. It’s time to take time off for me.

So this year my resolution is to be a HUMAN BEING, not a HUMAN DOING.

I can do it. Wait a minute, I have to reply to an email right now and mail something and pay my estimated taxes and .. and .. and.

Oh no! Anyone else like this?

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