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Nell 3D (Derick DeBevoise Dewey) is a former frontline humanitarian turned leadership expert. She’s like a retired fighter pilot of purpose, someone who didn’t just talk about impact, but lived it. As a strategist to the World’s Strivers, she guides purpose-driven leaders to trade exhaustion for alignment and fulfillment. I’m glad Nell is on my virtual porch to share what actually works.
Your WHY
What if the final mile of true success isn’t about doing more — but about doing what matters most?
I didn’t leave corporate to chase purpose. I chased purpose first—spending a decade on the frontlines of global development, following my 12-year-old self’s mission across four continents. I saw what real service looks like—and what happens when it drains you dry.
That paradox became the spark for my life’s work:
Helping other leaders build the life, team, and legacy they actually want.
I thrive by doing less, in three dimensions:
- ME — personal wellbeing and clarity
- WE — team alignment and performance
- WORLD — purpose, impact, and integrity
When these dimensions are connected, leaders don’t just feel better — they lead better. Because the moment we align our success with what actually matters, we don’t burn out.
We light up.
This 3D Roadmap is my WHY. I help leaders reclaim their energy, their agency, and the work they actually want to be doing.
Your Background on Purpose
My work draws on two decades across humanitarian leadership, academia, global consulting, and entrepreneurial ventures — from refugee camps to boardrooms, from research labs to ranches. Whether I’m lighting up a boardroom, guiding retreats in Santa Fe, or coaching with horses (yes, really)—I blend clarity, compassion, and a hard-won understanding of what sustainable leadership really requires.
My insights have been featured in Forbes and at Fortune 100 companies, industry-leading organizations, world-class universities, and high-impact not-for-profit and public sector organizations worldwide.
The 6 Spheres of Impact Framework
The 6 Spheres of Impact framework guides leaders to recognize their full potential for impact, ensuring they make investments that serve both immediate needs and long-term goals.
These six spheres—Self, Family and Friends, Job, Workplace, Money, and Community—offer a roadmap for maximizing impact while staying aligned with values. When leaders take responsibility for their full sphere of influence, they unlock new levels of innovation, collaboration, and purpose-driven success.
Stop – Drop – Roll for Purpose-Driven Success
The universal 3-step tool leaders use to reclaim energy, clarity, and integrity:
STOP — Get quiet enough to gather real data about your effort and impact
DROP — Release outdated habits, inherited shoulds, and unhelpful structures
ROLL — Find the structural “win-win-wins” where your effort advances more than one dimension of your life or leadership
Nell’s Keynote: The Missing 1%
Nell is a former frontline humanitarian and global activist who discovered—after years of doing the work most people leave corporate to pursue—that even world-changing impact isn’t enough if it costs your health, relationships, or joy. That was her missing 1%.
Subtract to Succeed Substack
I write a weekly newsletter designed to help connect the dots of our lives, so that we can do more good, without doing more! Every Monday, I share a Subtraction Scenario, exploring the real-life opportunities – and challenges – of systematic subtraction. And on (most) Wednesdays, I publish Subtraction Sessions: a conversation with another 3D leader about their practice of subtraction – what impact it’s had, where it’s still a work in progress, and what has surprised them.
Here are a few excerpts from a recent edition, What if We Subtracted: Small Talk. I include these practical tools (and more!) every week so that you can make the practice your own – and share with colleagues, friends, family, and other helpers you care about.
Example from Subtraction Practice on Purpose (aka: How to stop showing up small)
HOW — Reflection Questions
- What topics do you default to in social or professional settings—and do they actually matter to you?
- When was the last time you walked away from a conversation energized? What made it different?
- What’s one thing you’re genuinely thinking about right now that you haven’t mentioned to anyone today?
- What belief or fear keeps you in “small talk mode”? What might open up if you subtracted it?
- If an alien sat on your shoulder at your last networking event, what patterns would they notice in how you talk?
- What’s the difference between “real” and “raw” for you? Where’s your personal line for appropriate intimacy with new people?
WHEN — Calendar Prompt on Purpose
Before your next 2–3 social or networking events, set a 5-minute reminder titled:
“Big Talk.” On your way to the event, take a moment to:
- Remember the benefits of big talk — energy, connection, clarity, actual humanity.
- Jot down 2–3 things you’re genuinely thinking about or caring about right now.
- Bring those topics with you as conversational options.
And afterwards, spend 3 minutes noting:
- Did I show up small or big?
- How did I feel afterward?
- What felt easy? What felt hard?
- What might I try differently next time?
AI Prompts to Go Deeper on Purpose
Paste any of these prompts into your favorite AI thinking partner:
- I want to get better at “big talk” – sharing what is actually important to me instead of defaulting to small talk.
- Here’s what I tend to default to in social settings: [describe].
- Here’s what I’m actually interested in or thinking about: [describe].
- My hesitation about sharing the real stuff is: [fear of judgment, wanting to fit in, not knowing if others care, etc.].
- Help me brainstorm 5–7 ways I could answer common questions (weekend plans, what I do for work, recent travel) in ways that feel authentic but not overwhelming or inappropriate.
Tell me what comes back that’s actually useful (or hilariously hallucinated 🤪).
INVITE: RIP Resolutions! A Subtract to Succeed Salon with Nell3D
Wednesday, January 21, 12 pm ET on Substack Live
The Subtract to Succeed salon is a space to understand why it doesn’t work to keep doing MORE, and what to do instead. So we can head into the new year free of the pressure and overwhelm of resolutions we should have made, could have made, or have already broken!
We’ll cover the research and practice behind Systematic Subtraction, as well as my STOP-DROP-ROLL method, in a quick 20 minutes so you can get back to your day. OR stay and see the method in action so you’re sure you can bring it into your life. To do more GOOD, without DOING more.
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Nell’s Contact Information
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nell3d/
Website; nell3d.com
Substack: https://nell3d.substack.com/
Email: nell@nell3d.com
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I am so glad that Nell 3D joined me on my virtual porch. Our conversation was about why success is not about doing more; it is about doing what matters most. I loved that. I was excited to learn about her coaching with horses, and the method she shared about subtraction to succeed. I was surprised when I saw the resources, Tedx Talk, and stories Nell shared on this post. Enjoy! Please share this post and podcast with your friends, and make sure you connect with Nell 3D.
Make sure you check out more of the Rethinking Learning podcasts and each post that the guests created. Click on this link or the logo below to list by episode, alphabetical, or reflections. |
I am also the co-host of the “Real Talk” podcast with Nicole Biscotti. We delve deep into the topic “Authenticity in a Polarized Society.” Click on RealTalkBN or the logo below. |
I’m getting wonderful feedback on how much the information and stories in “Define Your Why” has helped them. For more information about this book, go to this page or click on the book for resources, questions, and links. |
My latest book, “Grow Your Why…One Story at a Time,” includes 23 stories from inspirational educators, innovators, and entrepreneurs. Go to this page or click on the book to go to Why Press Publishing for launching, details, and resources. |
