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This is the Barbaras’ show with Barbara Gruener and Barbara Bray (me) on my virtual porch. We were excited to talk about “Gratitude” which is close to our hearts. We wanted to discuss why it is important to have gratitude as a daily habit.
We shared our walk-up songs. My walk-up song is “Rise” by Andra Day. Barbara G’s walk-up song is “Up Up Up” by Rose Falcon. We were surprised that both of our songs had similar themes. You can hear excerpts of both songs in the reflection that goes with this post.
I get up every morning and write a gratitude note. I feel grateful as I walk with my coffee in my garden enjoying the birds, flowers, bees, and everything.
Barbara G. shared that everything today is a gift, yesterday is a gift, and tomorrow (if we’re lucky) will be a gift. She feels that Gratitude has so much POWER and shared a prescripted gratitude journal “A Gratitude with Attitude” with props, prompts, and much more. Two questions/prompts include:
- What was today’s victory?
- Key people who I’m grateful for.
I talked about my gratitude jar where I write something on a slip of paper I’m grateful for. Writing a gratitude note shows me how lucky I am to be here and to have this person or that person in my life. At the end of each week, I reach inside the jar full of notes and read one of the gratitudes out loud.
Barbara G. talked about how writing gratitude in a journal or on paper is like therapy or medicine. You can’t have negative thoughts if you say you are grateful every day. It’s that feeling of being lucky to be alive.
Liz Murray from Homeless to Harvard said, “Gratitude is imagining what you do have could just easily be what you don’t have.” Her message was so powerful. She gave a speech one year before school that started with “Imagining what you do have could just be easily gone.”
Oprah Winfrey had a similar quote. “Be thankful for what you have and you will end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.” It’s all about our beliefs. If you believe you can be the person you want to be, you can become that person.
Some people say it is an “Attitude of Gratitude” but it is more than that. It is the ABUNDANCE mindset. This does have an attitude component but this mindset needs to be a lifestyle, a way of life.
When we’re older, we may focus on our health issues and how bad we’re feeling. I understand it’s difficult to think of anything else when we’re not feeling well. However, it can take over our minds and that’s all we think about. If we focus on how lucky we are to be here, we put more energy into that ABUNDANCE mindset. I have health issues but having this mindset has impacted me. I feel great and grateful every day. I was fortunate to coach Miriam Winokur as she wrote her memoir. Miriam is my friend, Ilene Winokur’s mom. She had an amazing life and lived 99 years. In fact, from age 86 to 92 she was a competitive ballroom dancer. Miriam taught me about LIFE and that we only have one life.
Why not be grateful and live life to the fullest every day? ~ Miriam Winokur
Barbara G. did the research for a gratitude talk she was going to give. One of the suggestions was from Huston Kraft: “Specificity leads to Significance or Relevance.” Instead of saying, “Barbara, you’re the best,” get specific with your affirmations. Maybe I say something like this: “Thank you, Barbara, for having me on your show. Your show brings so much positivity and joy.” I then mention a specific episode and guest and be specific on what landed with me. That drives the significance for you as the receiver as well as for me as the giver.
It is very easy to NOT be grateful. I had wonderful positive things happen this weekend and one negative action stuck with me. I was reading a Bob Goff book to my dad and he loved the part that asked “why don’t we replace anger with perspective and grace?” I was ruminating on the bad interaction because it was hurtful and out of the blue. Instead, I could be grateful for the 55+ positive, happy, and wonderful interactions. I think we are drawn to that negative lilt. We have to work with the intention of being grateful for the good to drown out the bad.
I try to wrap gratitude as a present so you can feel it and give it more often. It’s so easy to forget to let people know how you care about them. Be careful of sarcasm. “Sarcasm” means to rip or tear apart. That’s why it hurts to be on the other end of sarcasm. To joke at someone’s expense is painful, and it is tough to be grateful when that happens.
In our podcast in 2019, Barbara G. mentioned being hurt by a drunk driver, and it was hard to find gratitude in that circumstance. “I learned my joy would not return until I found gratitude again. I mentioned that sharing gratitude on social media for others made me feel good. I love it when someone shares that they are grateful for this or that and proud of something they did.”
From research, kind acts intricately tied to gratitude are not only a dopamine dump for the giver, they are a dopamine dump for the receiver AND the witness. When you think about the power of kindness and assume that gratitude follows, there’s that antidotal medicinal benefit we don’t always think about. The more you are grateful and have that feeling, the more you want to be grateful. Other benefits include improving your sleep and reducing anxiety, stress, and depression.
Barbara G. shared a journal of affirmations that people shared with her.
You cannot be in a state of fear and a state of appreciation at the same time. When you keep a journal, there is a drop in your diastolic blood pressure. Gratitude can regulate your breathing. The body keeps the score. I know it’s real. I keep my gratitude in my smile file. I write thank you notes to people I’m grateful for. If I don’t have anyone to write a thank you note, I write one to myself.
When was the last time you got a thank you note to yourself? It is difficult to give love away if we don’t have self-love. You can’t give away what you don’t have. It is wonderful to celebrate ourselves and each other. Sometimes it is tough to take compliments. Instead of deflecting those compliments, we need to say “Thank you!”
Thank you, Barbara!
Thank you, Barbara!
We need to do this again! Sounds good to me! Me, too!
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Barbara Gruener’s Contact Information
Website: https://barbaragruenerauthor.com/
X (formerly Twitter): @barbaragruener
Facebook: https://facebook.com/mrquigleyskeys
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbara-gruener-b5904111/
Rethinking Learning Podcast #82: Connecting by Heart
https://bit.ly/episode82-gruener
Books by Barbara G
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Make sure you check out more of the Rethinking Learning podcasts and each post that the guests created. Click on this link or the logo below to list by episode, alphabetical, or reflections. |
I am a co-host of a new podcast “Real Talk with Barbara and Nicole.” Check out the episodes about Authenticity in a Polarized Society around different topics. Click on RealTalkBN or the logo below.
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| I’m getting wonderful feedback on how much the information and stories in “Define Your Why” has helped them. For more information about this book, go to this page or click on the book for resources, questions, and links. | My new book, “Grow Your Why…One Story at a Time” includes 23 stories from inspirational educators, innovators, and entrepreneurs. Go to this page or click on the book to go to Why Press Publishing for launching, details, and resources.
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